The book I might write

 

“Tell all the Truth but tell it Slant”-Emily Dickinson

***

Until I read the essay, A Braised Heart: Shaping the Lyric Essay, by Brenda Miller I wasn’t sure how I was going to write the document (maybe even a book) about my family. For four years I researched my mother's side of the family and collected an overflowing folder of papers and pictures, but when the time came to put it all together I froze. Too much information or perhaps too little, I had no clue how to deal with it.

And then I came across this beautiful essay, written by Brenda Miller, as part of her book, and two interesting ideas emerged;

Tell the truth but tell it slant, how brilliant, this was mind altering, and then the rich imagery in the essay in which Brenda Miller compares the writing of the lyric essay to the braiding of the traditional Challah. The separate strands (three or more) that weave in and out but at the end form one heavenly creation with a solid core. 

The minute I read it I knew how I was going to approach my project.

***

I am going to name it ‘An anatomy of a family search’ and it is going to include documentation from my search, written and verbal exchanges I had with other people who gave me information. A detailed recount of the process, and how the different pieces of data were matched together to create the big picture.  And last, my childhood memories, primarily those about people or anecdotes that are relevant to the family search.

Once I figured it out the rest became almost easy. I knew what I have to do:

 Not a collage, or a sophisticated puzzle, as I originally planned.

Not a chronological account (which I originally considered but seemed tedious and boring).

No, this is going to be a braided essay (or a book); a rich weaved cloth composed of separate strands with me at the core.

***

Here is what I already did:

1.  Organized all the written materials I collected over the past four years.
2. Contacted all the people I was in touch with and asked their permission to use the information they gave me orally, or in writing.
3. Jotted down every memory I could pull out from my ‘clogged’ mind.   
4. Created an outline for this project.
5. Looked at what I had, put it aside and took a deep breath.

My writing project is about a search, a search for my family history, a search for my family lost members, but most of all it is a search for myself. Separate strands, yes, but ones that once they are weaved together will create a whole.

I think I am ready.

***

Now that the preliminary work is done it is time to settle down and do the real work, write. Can’t avoid the challenge, can’t shun from facing myself when I will decide to let it all go.

Tell it Slant – Brenda Miler and Suzanne Paola