My other backyard

Unused laundry lines, open grass, wood pile and an old stone fence and beyond it the tree line; this is what I see from my dining room window. I stand there every morning pouring hot water and fresh brewed coffee, while watching the familiar scenery. For a split second I think of other backyards I watched, in the early morning hours, with my mind drifting aimlessly.  These moments when the daily activities have not yet fully capture my mind often bring forward pictures of times and places I already forgot.

It’s still early and everything out there seems completely motionless yet there is a feeling of anticipation, or maybe it is just me waiting for something to move, and shatter the idle scene. I am so utterly engrossed I forget everything behind me.

And then a movement, I catch it in the corner of my eye and all of a sudden I feel awake and alert. My eyes are scanning the scenery, nothing. Was there someone or something moving in the woods? Everything looks uninterrupted and deserted as before. I remember reading that in order to really see you need to let your eyes wonder and not focus on any specific point. Often the best place to hide is in plain sight, and the eye movement, without directly focusing, will do the trick. I discovered this brainy bead in a science fiction book. It is a great tool to locate aliens but who knows, it might work in my backyard too. So I try this technique and move my eyes ever so slowly, from side to side. Its’ a good practice I notice. I pinpoint details I never noticed before. The huge branches of the old pine tree in the back are sagging, almost touching the ground they will need to be trimmed.  The red roof over the small shade looks broken in some spots and will have to be fixed. The wood pile is dwindling …

And then that movement again, it is so fast I don’t really see it, just an impression of a motion in the quiet morning air. I feel a bud of stubbornness growing inside me, I sense there is something there and I want to see it. I turn back to the coffee pretending I don’t care but throw quick glances over my shoulder every few seconds. I realize, as I am doing it, that this elaborate psychological approach is geared mostly towards me. Its’ based on another outside wisdom I acquired somewhere. It stated that like the pendulum move, if you push too hard you lose the needed equilibrium. If, on the other hand, you stop pushing, the other side will be forced to make a move. Anyways, it’s time to pour the coffee before it’ll become ice cold.

A movement behind the wood pile, I freeze with the coffee pitcher in my hand. Without moving my body I turn my head slowly and immediately stop breathing. There is big deer standing there looking straight at me. Even though I am hundreds of feet away, and inside, the feeling that he can see me is overwhelming.  And then the animal does what I least expect, almost as if finishing a thorough assessment and finding me harmless it shrugs its shoulders and steppes into the open.

I can’t believe it; this huge animal who managed to blend so well into the trees chooses to reveal itself. I walk slowly towards the window afraid it will evaporate into the air like a mirage but no, it’s as real as the trees, the red shed and the wood pile. This beautiful animal is just standing there and completely unfazed by me, behind the window; chews on some yellow blades of last year’s grass.

Every once in awhile for no apparent reason its skin ripples and his ears perk up and turn as if to hear far away sounds. It picks his head and scans the forest behind him and then visibly satisfied turn back to chewing.

I watch him for awhile and then unwillingly return to my boiling coffee. When I look back few minutes later I catch its back walking into the forest slowly and unhurried. Two seconds later as if merging into the trees it is gone.